Vampires Suck

I AGREE. My Rating: ** - Fair



FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY someone made a movie that is a spoof of a film series that I DON'T care for. Not only that, but it was "Twilight"! My first choice. And the best part is it's so easy to make fun of. But, the film is not much different than it's cousins "Epic Movie", "Disaster Movie", "Scary Movie 1-4", "Superhero Movie", "Meet the Spartans",ect. I promise that in my lifetime you will never find a movie as light as ones like these. They are spoofs, and they have no sense. In comedy, there are different types of material. There's screwball comedy( "The Hangover"), Vulgar comedy ("Bruno"), Slapstick comedy(" Grown Ups"), and Dark comedy ("Leaves of Grass"). This film is a combo of slapstick and vulgar. Making it relatively the type of funny you'd see in "J.A." . The only bad thing about this film is that you probably won't laugh that much if you are A. Clueless as to what "Twilight" is, B. old, or C. mature. And the plot is derived from the first twilight movie but also borrows from "The Twilight Saga: New Moon". So, almost any major part in the two films you may remember will be disassembled and changed into a spoof. As for acting, well, in these kinds of movies you don't especially need to act. Just go out there and act crazy. I was really laughing a few times, nut I can only give it two stars because it was so stupid. If you want anything with a remote bit of seriousness, DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE! If you don't mind this sort of thing, go ahead. But if you do watch it on DVD, you probably will be out of options at blockbuster.

Starring: Jen Proske, Matt Lanter Directors: Aaron Seltzer, Jason Freidberg

Takers

EVERYONE'S AFTER SOMETHING. My Rating: ***1/2 - Good

Mansions, clubs, and pretty much all-out lives of luxury are in possession of a group of takers. Physically fit, smart, highly trained bank robbers. Played by a cast consisting of Idris Elba("The Losers"), Hayden Christiansen (Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith), and many other stars. Although, I could feel a rise of resentment in the theatre wen Chris Brown came on screen. But, I think they still enjoyed it. Anyways, the Takers have been pulling off bank jobs for a few years, and now, after finishing their latest one, an old friend is released after doing five years and prison. He is nicknamed "Ghost", and played by the famous rapper T.I. ... and he's got plans of his own that will decide the fate of the Takers and two cops( Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez) who are investigating their bank robberies. In many ways, this film reminds me of movies like "The Bank Job"(starring Jason Statham) and "The Town"(Starring Ben Affleck). Both of which are movies about bank robberies. But the main thing they have in common, is that they all end the same way. It seems to be a common trait among robbery movies. Of course, I won't tell you the ending because that would make me a VERY irresponsible critic. The audience that would like this kind of movie is a person who likes films with a lot of tension and drama. Because when cops and robbers are involved, it's hard to lose your attention. Yet, it is also not as heavy or inappropriate as most movies of its kind. So it's a little easier to so younger audiences why you shouldn't be robbing banks. The acting is good, nothing spectacular. It was what it is: enough to keep your attention. If I had to put the film in a nutshell, I'd say its a light, short, entertaining bank robbery movie. But in the end, most people probably won't have that much to say about it.

Starring: Idris Elba, Hayden Christiansen, Director: John Lussenhop
Matt Dillon, Chris Brown, Paul Walker, T.I.