Transformers: Dark of the Moon

My Rating: 2.5/4

I believe Micheal Bay has dished out his best attempt at making the Transformers trilogy, and in my opinion, he has not done a bad job. He made a surprisingly good first installment, the second installment got a negative fan reaction, and now Bay must take his only shot at redemption, Transformers: Dark of the Moon. In the film, Bay does many of the same things he has done right in past movies, but has lost many things that are part of the "essence" of the franchise. The plot centers around the first Apollo mission to the moon, where Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong discover a crashed Autobot spaceship, and the United States has been covering it up for the last forty years. Now, Decepticon forces are coming after a device invented by an Autobot that allows them to teleport, and Deceptions want to use it to take over the galaxy. Now, sounds like a good Transformers plot, it puts good v.s. evil, and opens many doors the clanking of robots punching each other. The writers captured that epic feel needed for large action movies, and before the film was released they stated they wanted a much darker movie this time around, and they succeeded at this. But they may have gone so dark that they have lost the playful light-hearted feel from the first film, which was a main factor in making it the most liked movie of the three for the majority of its viewers. The plot was the weakest link in "Revenge of the Fallen", and I'm afraid it has transferred over to "Dark of the Moon". Each film has centered the plot around some type of conspiracy, each putting more of an emphasis on it than the last, the first being the Hoover Dam hiding a powerful alien artifact, the second being the Pyramids hiding a powerful alien artifact, and now the government hiding the existence of an alien artifact on the moon. Transformers is supposed to be fun. The story telling of "Dark of the Moon" has become so saturated in government cover-ups that it looses a lot of the exciting and fun elements. A good script usually will make up for a bad plot, but unfortunately, "Dark of the Moon" has its share of fails in this area as well. I was especially bothered by this in the opening minutes, when we are introduced to Sam Witwicky's(Shia Lebouf) new girlfriend, Carly(Rosie-Huntington Whitley) explaining how they met, and the entire sequence is very cheesy and rushed. It moves way too fast, and just seems awkward in how the script was handled. The problem is not the actors, who are very good actors, but the problem is what they have the actors do. Some characters feel uninteresting and the audience is not really inclined to care about these characters because the writers have not deeply shown their signifigance. I do not know if there will be a Tranformers 4, but if there is, my input to them is to not put all of their focus into special effects. The effects are amazing, and one of the few things in "Dark of the Moon" I have nothing to complain about. Spend more time coming up with ideas and making the script engaging and design it to give the audience the reaction you want. There is but ONE scene in the entire film where they really capture this. There is a scene in the final face-off when Bumblebee, one of the main Autobots, is about to be executed by Decepticons, and I could honestly feel the suspense and tension of the audience rising, and when(spoiler alert!) he is saved, people started clapping. This is what those scenes should feel like all the time. Most movies are meant to give the audience a very engaging and entertaining experience, which is captured here, and the entire movie should give the mood you want it too, not just one scene. I understand a lot of time needs to be invested into the animations and special effects of the film. But if it takes a lot of time to do both the special effects and write a great script, then take your time. You will be more successful in taking a long time to make a great film than if you take an average or short amount of time to cram in a mediocre film. If you are looking for something that's not super special, and will provide you with two hours to just be entertained, then I recommend you watch "Transformers: Dark of the Moon".

Takers

EVERYONE'S AFTER SOMETHING. My Rating: ***1/2 - Good

Mansions, clubs, and pretty much all-out lives of luxury are in possession of a group of takers. Physically fit, smart, highly trained bank robbers. Played by a cast consisting of Idris Elba("The Losers"), Hayden Christiansen (Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith), and many other stars. Although, I could feel a rise of resentment in the theatre wen Chris Brown came on screen. But, I think they still enjoyed it. Anyways, the Takers have been pulling off bank jobs for a few years, and now, after finishing their latest one, an old friend is released after doing five years and prison. He is nicknamed "Ghost", and played by the famous rapper T.I. ... and he's got plans of his own that will decide the fate of the Takers and two cops( Matt Dillon and Jay Hernandez) who are investigating their bank robberies. In many ways, this film reminds me of movies like "The Bank Job"(starring Jason Statham) and "The Town"(Starring Ben Affleck). Both of which are movies about bank robberies. But the main thing they have in common, is that they all end the same way. It seems to be a common trait among robbery movies. Of course, I won't tell you the ending because that would make me a VERY irresponsible critic. The audience that would like this kind of movie is a person who likes films with a lot of tension and drama. Because when cops and robbers are involved, it's hard to lose your attention. Yet, it is also not as heavy or inappropriate as most movies of its kind. So it's a little easier to so younger audiences why you shouldn't be robbing banks. The acting is good, nothing spectacular. It was what it is: enough to keep your attention. If I had to put the film in a nutshell, I'd say its a light, short, entertaining bank robbery movie. But in the end, most people probably won't have that much to say about it.

Starring: Idris Elba, Hayden Christiansen, Director: John Lussenhop
Matt Dillon, Chris Brown, Paul Walker, T.I.

The Other Guys

My Rating: 3/4

I guess now that Will Ferrell (above, right, "Kicking and Screaming") and Mark Wahlberg(above, left, "Max Payne") have been in a film called "The Other Guys", they can also be called the "B Team" or "The Back Up Dynamic Duo". The plot takes place in everyone's beloved N.Y.C. where the city's most famous and prized cops, Danson(Dwayne Johnson) and Highsmith(Samuel L. Jackson), are top of line...then, you have the pair who sits at the desk all day, listens to calls but never goes on cases, the guys who don't come in pumped and ready to bust crime and instead bring their doughnuts, coffee, and newspaper...The Other Guys. Played by Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, the other guys are tired of sitting at the desk all day and finally get a chance at the big shots. As they go on a big case, all (something) breaks loose. They must uncover the secrets of a case that may be the biggest crime in...well... a while. Now, the film is a comedy of odd proportions. Most of the comedy only provides the audience with a small grin, as I can only recall one moment where I really laughed as hard as the film's supposed to make you laugh. When you get to see Will Ferrell go completely berserk wrecking everything in his path was corny yet hilarious. But then again, can you think of ANY movie that that guy has done where he hasn't gone berserk in one scene or another? Either way, it's funny. Most of the film's time, however, is spent on odd yet slightly funny piles of entertainment that don't seem to be going anywhere at certain points. I wasn't completely feeling it the whole time, but it wasn't bad. Some of it wasn't exactly dead space, but I felt there was wasted potential, some of it even was a little boring. It did avoid the dangers of predictability however, but, the sequencing was falling too much toward the "average" level. The writing could have been much better and so could the comedy. But I guess the two tie together. The acting is good. the star do well, nothing really fake. Steve Coogan plays the film's, well, sorta-kinda villain, and he also played Hades in "Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief", as well as the scientist in "Around the World in 8O Days". If you aren't looking for a serious, heavy, or exciting movie, "The Other Guys" should serve as a sample of interest. While you may not find it so great, it gets the essentials of the job done and will not fail you as much as say, "Alice in Wonderland". Which is a terrible movie by the way. So, overall, Good acting, much wasted potential, could have had better writing and comedy, you may like it, or you may not. It's not the ideal film for a very mature or serious person, and I understand how short this review was, but I didn't have much to say about it. And it seems that the film itself didn't have much to say either. But if you do watch "The Other Guys", it's probably because you didn't have something better to do anyway.
Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg
Director: Adam McKay

Our Family Wedding

My Rating: 2.5/4





In short, "Our Family Wedding" was stellar. It collided its own flaws and strengths. Not making anything about the film tiresome. Centered around a comedic plot about a couple played by Lance Gross(Tyler Perry's "Meet the Browns") and America Ferrera (Ugly Betty).They want to get married, but their families are polar opposites. They want the wedding to go different ways, they want this, the other wants that, and so on and so forth. So, will they be able to cope with each other and have a nice wedding or will they have one big mistake? Well, you can watch "Our Family Wedding" or, read the walk through story of the film that those spoiler-lovers wrote on IMDB. But, I personally would watch the movie. I did enjoy the film. But why was this movie necessary? I'm just missing the point the movie was trying to get across. I for sure know it was entertainment that was it's primary goal, seeing as it's a comedy. But, there have been many films like that but they always have SOMETHING else they're trying to tell you. But, like "Dumb & Dumber", there doesn't appear to be one. But all the same, There were at least plenty of funny parts. And to me, everyone needs a movie like this every once and a while. Something we can just enjoy. Not much to walk away with, however, other than a small grin. So whatever you learned from watching, say, "The Blind Side", I guarantee you won't learn it after watching "Our Family Wedding". The acting was pretty well done(I guess that's just long for "it was good") It's stars do well. But perhaps the best performance in the film is from a star that oddly enough doesn't play a VERY main character, just a semi main character, and it's by Forest Whitaker(shocker). If you don't know who that is, he was in "The Great Debaters"(2007), "Repo Men"(2009), as well as MANY others and is extremely famous. And like I said, he had the best performance. Overall, I enjoyed "Our Family Wedding'. It is yet ANOTHER small, light-viewing, joyride. I laughed a few times, and enjoyed watching it. Today, sometimes movies just like to be that way, but they've done it so much a lot of people who don't see a lot of movies think that this is the REAL DEAL when it comes to film. But, I have seen enough movies to know that no, they certainly aren't. But, for that branch of film, "Our Family Wedding" gets the job done.

Starring: America Ferrera, Lance Gross Director: Rick Famuylwa

The Bounty Hunter

My Rating: 2/4



Gerard Butler has been a dad, a spartan, a "Law Abiding Citizen", a game avatar, some dude in a love story(twice), (as well as many others) and now, a bounty hunter. While Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, has been a mom, a wife, some dudet in a love story(several times), a puppy owner, and now a, well, I now this isn't proper English but let's just say she's a "bounty huntEE". The plot centers around Milo(butler), a has-been cop that now has a crazy line of work as a bounty hunter. But so far, that's left him with very little. One day, he is offered $5,OOO to take his ex-wife(Aniston) to prison. Why? Because she is a journalist who wanted a story so bad she decided to skip her time in court was automatically sentenced to a small amount of jail time(for assaulting an officer). So, Milo must hunt down his ex wife and take her to jail. But, this could go one of three ways. Either it will go as planned, they could start falling in love again, or they could kill each other in the process. What killed this film was the same thing that killed "Did You Hear About the Morgans?". Was it fun and funny? Yes. But the rest of it seemed just like dead space almost. I felt that some wasted potential was taken up by slight nothingness. I saw how the story all fit together, but it could have been much funnier. That's kind of the point of comedies. But, I did think it was a nice movie. Nothing to big, but still enjoyable. It had some good acting, of course, from it's two very expensive stars. But it all turned into a small, light-viewing movie. Some parts I laughed, and I was interested. But I think whether or not you will enjoy it depends on what genres you like. But for now, this will do.

Starring: Gerard Butler, Jennifer Aniston Director:Andy Tennant

Cop Out

My Rating: 3/4

Comedy has always varied between different films. Some movies are truly funny and are done right. Some replace that with vulgar jokes and the F-word. And then you have "Cop Out". Which seems somewhat of a hybrid between the two. It's a lot like the more mature version of the "Rush Hour" series. The film stars Bruce Willis(Live Free or Die Hard, above,right) and Tracy Morgan(G-Force,above,left). They are two NYPD cops who are trying to get back Jimmy(Bruce Willis)'s mint condition baseball card that he was going to sell to pay for his daughter's wedding. And Paul(Tracy Morgan) is his partner in anti-crime and is helping him out. But, along the way, they are pitted against a cruel money-obsessed gangster. And are tangled in a long struggle to, well, get a baseball card. But hey, it's worth about 80,000 dollars...or something close to it. So, the plot doesn't include anything too fancy. No work of art. But it does make it work. However, it doesn't do what the ideal comedy would do. I know I mentioned this same comedy principal in my review of "Grown-Ups", that comedy movie must build the hilarity on the situation, not solely on just one-liners. And I felt that "Cop Out" just built off of one-liners. There were some situations where comedy could have built off of but didn't. Although, somehow, a miracle is performed. Whats this? "Cop Out" actually had a lot of hilarious one-liners. Perhaps the funniest line is when the two main characters are talking and at one point Jimmy says "But I already made my decision." and then Paul replies "Hello, the president is black now, we make decisions!". I laughed so hard you have no idea. They are many others like that but that by far was the funniest. The acting is good. Two stars do the job but there's nothing extraordinary. But I did feel that the story lacked some detail. It seemed jumbled and could have been better. But the funny thing is that the movie seems to almost tell you that it's excuse for that is the funny comedy. And well, that my friends, is a cop out. While I did enjoy watching it, it was slightly predictable and had some flaws. But overall, it WAS pretty funny and this film seems to make it work. If they turn this into a series, I do think it has the potential to overcome even the"Rush Hour" series which is like this film's cousin. But for now, it has plenty of time for improvement.

Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan Director: Kevin Smith

The Last Airbender

My Rating: 2/4


Air, water, fire, and earth are the four nations in the world of "The Last Airbender". Based on the original Nickelodeon cartoon "Avatar: The Last Airbender" (which I was a big fan of and yes, I know I'm a dork). The plot is about four nations(that I already mentioned) that lived in harmony. Some people in each nation have the ability to "bend" or in other words, manipulate their native element. One day the fire nation got greedy and wanted to control all the other nations and declared war. And have been at war for over a century. As the other nations struggle under the attack(which is weird since it's three on one), their only hope lies in the "Avatar". The only one who can control all four elements. One day, brother and sister Katara and Sokka from the southern water tribe find Aang, The last airbender(all the other were wiped out)/the Avatar frozen in a block of ice. They later find out he was frozen a hundred years ago and he wakes up to the horror of the war which is new to him but old to everyone else. But, before he was frozen, he did not learn the other three elements. So, Katara and Sokka agree to help him go on a journey to learn and master the other three elements and defeat the fire nation. Now, as you can obviously tell, this is a kid's movie. Comprehensible and pretty simple. Nothing too deep. Just another cartoon shot to the big screen. But, (SAY WHAT?!) it's directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Who mainly directs horror movies and is the creator of things like "The Sixth Sense" and "The Happening". Now, all of the sudden he moves to a children's film?! But, calm down people. I didn't find it as bad as you might think in this kind of situation. He didn't scare me out of my wits so I guess you could say it's a "kid's" movie. But a major turnoff for me was how cheesy it was. The script was poorly written and cheesy, and the acting was very poorly done and cheesy. Well guess what M. Night? It's Na-cho cheese! The script could have been way better, and the acting was not that impressive. The only really good performance was by Dev Patel, who plays Prince Zuko. He is famous for his starring role in "Slumdog Millionaire". But,I could've thought of a better introduction and ending. But the main sequencing wasn't bad. It stuck to the cartoon storyline which was a wise choice because then they would've had all this weird stuff and upset the fans. Another wise choice was that the film makers knew that they would have to fit an entire season of the cartoon into each film in order to divide it into a trilogy. So, they knew they would have to cut out A LOT of things. But everything was removed perfectly. They only included the fan-pleasing and important events, removing all unnecessary implications. They just kept the essentials. The only problem was instead of it being too slow, it went too fast. The movie just seemed a little rushed. Although the pronunciations were wrong...also A LOT. Like the main character, Aang. In the show, he was pronounced "Ang". In the film, he's pronounced "ong". In the show, Sokka was pronounced "Sock-a". In the film, he's pronounced "So-ka". They DID, however, get one of the main villain's names right, Prince Zuko. Who's ultimate goal is to catch the Avatar and restore his honor. But, now guess what?! They pronounce his uncle's name wrong. In the Show, his name was pronounced "Uncle I-ro". In the film, it's pronounced "Uncle ee-ro". WHY, WHY, WHY?! After all of these negative comments, reader, I would imagine you thinking "Then what DID you like about the film?". Well, this film did the unique thing of showing me things I didn't know I wanted. Kind of like what "Iron Man" did. It gave people what they didn't know they wanted. In a strange way, I liked the senseless action, I liked the absurdity, and I liked how they developed a comprehensible issue and battled it out with top notch special effects. Which brings me to my next point, the action. Three words, "I", "LOVED", and "IT"! The special effects of element bending and swords clanging was very well done. I was completely entertained. Those scenes provide you with good action that stays in the tricky middle ground where it's a wee-bit more serious than Jackie Chan-style violence but doesn't have the blood and guts of "Ninja Assassin". In fact, since the film is clearly for the purpose of entertainment, and there's nothing really deep, (I know my grandmother is frowning upon me right now) the violence in scenes were most of my favorite parts. I would say "it was clearly just for the TRIVIAL purpose of entertainment", but if you look before T.V., waaaaaaay before, even back to things like gladiator fights, it's not so trivial. But all in all, "The Last Airbender" was a cheesy experience. Had a bad script, bad acting, but in a strange way, I ended up just having a blast watching it. It's a good movie to watch when you're in the mood for a Saturday morning type thing. But I don't think Shyamalan will have these films be good for the whole trilogy. You know who I want to direct the next one? Micheal Bay. That would be a good choice. But unlike Roger Ebert, I hope, no, I KNOW the title is not prophetic. And thankfully, it is not "The LAST Airbender".

Starring: Noah Ringer Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Nicola Peltz
Jackson Rathbone
Dev Patel

Toy Story 3

NO TOY GETS LEFT BEHIND! My Rating: ***1/2 - Good



The Toy Story series has captured the hearts of both critics and Pixar fans for the past eleven years. What was the appeal of these films? It wasn't necessarily just the entertainment. But it was the creativity, the originality, the jokes, the kid-friendly manner, and the pretty much all-age interest. The thing I love about Disney/Pixar movies is that they come in the FORM of just kid's movies. But they always entertain the little ones but I can tell that the adults see that something valuable was hidden in the film just for them. The story is actually good and interesting to an older audience. Even though watching the previews is not enough to see that, if you pay attention closely, you can see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That was contained in the 1st and 2nd "Toy Story" and remains for the most part in "Toy Story 3". The plot has a pretty good set-up. Andy has grown up and is headed for college. But the question remains, "What is he going to do with all these toys?" Well, while he is deciding, the toys end up being thrown into a box of old toys being donated to Sunny side Daycare. At first the toys seem very happy about it. But, they soon find out that it isn't do great and must escape to get back to Andy before he leaves for college. It is an entertaining film and at least avoids the predictability flaw with new surprises around every corner. Whether it's jokes or action, it's certainly not boring. But what does the film lack? Well, it lacks the eerie humor of "Toy Story" and it also lacks the heartfelt mood of "Toy Story 2". The ideal "Toy Story 3" would be a combination of those two and adding in another one of it's own elements. But to my disappointment, it wasn't. I did not feel connected to the film very much throughout the film and I saw some small amounts of wasted potential. But the acting is good as always. Disney always casts their films very well. But I just wasn't feeling it the whole way through. I don't want to spoil it, so I won't but the ending was a good way to close the series, it's just that I felt like it lacked some closure. It was not a BAD ending, just could have been better. But the pixar films are usually very honest and straightforward. "Toy Story 3" is a truthful movie. The idea of Andy growing up and going to college is realistic(despite the fact that the series is about living toys). And as Woody and Buzz Light year & company state in the film, "We all new this day was coming." At some point this was going to have to happen. He wasn't going to stay like a kid forever. But I think the lesson here is to learn to let go. But "Toy Story 3" is a worthy volume in the saga. While it may not reach the level of other Disney/Pixar films like "Ratatouille"(2007) or "The Incredibles"(2004), It's not just a story that I know will go into the Pixar hall of fame, it's a TOY story.

starring: Tom Hanks Director: Lee Unckrich
Tim Allen

Death at a Funeral

THIS MAY BE THE ONLY EXCITING FUNERAL YOU'LL EVER SEE. My Rating: *** 1/2 - Good

With a cast as loaded as the new film "Grown Ups", you can obviously tell this movie is somethin' else. Depending on what kind of moviegoer you are, that can be for better or for worse. But instead of sounding like I'm taking vows at a wedding, I want to tell you about a movie concerning a hilarious FUNERAL. The plot deals with a grief-stricken(or at least most of them) family dealing with the death of a beloved husband and father. But, he was part of a pretty large family and a large group of mourners have gathered to attend what they THINK will be an ordinary funeral. But, that idea quickly goes out the window as shocking revelations, jealousy, tension, blackmail, severe drugs, and just sheer mayhem all show up at the same time and that time happens to be a very bad time. Now as you can see, this is a PERFECT setup for a comedy. So my compliments to zee writers. Not only that, but like I said before, they also have a PERFECT cast. Many of the actors are also pretty much comedians. These would include Chris Rock(above,left, "Madagascar"), Martin Lawrence(above,right, "Big Mama's House"), and Tracy Morgan ("G-Force"). Other stars include James Marsden( the "X-Men" series), Zoe Saldana (" Avatar", "Star Trek", and "The Losers"), Peter Dinklage( above, tied-up, "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"), Danny Glover("Barnyard"), and Luke Wilson("Old School"). Phew! Now that I actually got finished going through the cast, I must say that their performances are very well done. All of them are believable and engrossing. That's just what a comedy needs. A good comedy also requires a good plot. Now some people might say "how does this have a good plot if it's a comedy taking place at a funeral"? Well, if you think about it, it's a comedy taking place in one of the most, well, "unfunny" places. And that really just makes it even funnier. Here's an example: The film "Blazing Saddles"(1974) is a comedy taking place in the violent old west of the 1800's. But somehow, the writing found a clever way to use the setting to it's advantage and make it even funnier. There was a lot of racism back then and especially in an old western town out in the middle of nowhere. And so the writers made it about a black guy that becomes the sheriff of that town. That's just one thing though. The writers of THIS film had several things similar to that. One example of this is (***WARNING: SEMI-SPOILER ALERT***) when Uncle Russell(Danny Glover) eats too much cake and gets diarrhea. Uncle Russell is an old man AND confined to a wheelchair. So Norman(Tracy Morgan) must help him get to the toilet. While setting Uncle Russell on the seat, his hand gets stuck under him and Uncle Russell just starts going and once Norman gets it out, it's covered in waste. Then, he tries to wash it off but it sprays it all over the place and just gets a HUGE spot on the mirror and gets it all over his face. Now don't tell me that isn't even remotely funny. This is a comedy that does, well, actually have some true comedy in it. It's not like those vulgar comedies that might as well have a sign on the cover saying "WARNING: MUST SET ASIDE MATURITY TO BE ENTERTAINED". But, the only problem is that that was one of the only parts I really laughed my pants off. My image of an ideal comedy is one that's both interesting and keeps me laughing the whole way through. I started out really liking "Death at a Funeral" and I was waiting for some hysterical mayhem. But when nothing like that happened, I just sat back and enjoyed an interesting film. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of funny parts but not much reaching the hilarity of "Dumb & Dumber". But, the work of the writing was fantastic which you can see through it's plot. Although the plot has many things happening parallel to each other, it is very well planned and thought out and even just the set-up just makes you laugh. As you progress through the film, you can see these "parallel" lines start to curve towards each other. And I know that's better than anything I could've come up with. But all in all, great acting, the story is very interesting and engrossing, and I think most of you will actually be happy after watching this one SAD family.

Starring: Director: Neil LeBute
Chris Rock
Martin Lawrence
Zoe Saldana
Danny Glover
James Marsden
Loretta Divine
Tracy Morgan
Columbus Short
Peter Dinklage
Ron Glass
Luke Wilson

The Hurt Locker

A TRIUMPHANT WAR MOVIE! My Rating: ***1/2 - Good



Wow. I like action movies but I'm not a war movie guy, but this actually was pretty good. At first glimpse it seemed boring, but the film holds real value. The plot takes place in 2004 Iraq and a man named James is deployed there in a bomb disposal team. Which obviously is an extremely dangerous job. His two comrades, Sanborn and Eldridge, just recently lost their previous leader in this fatal line of work. James is a fearless man and has the tendency to "leap without looking". This is a very different trait from the previous captain and the two must try to contain him throughout their missions together. All three are relatively new and at first seem to think of war as an adrenaline-quencher. But later on in the film, it does a good job of going in-depth as it is shot in a way that is half documentary and half, well, regular movie and you see that the way they think of their job is changing. They must learn to cope with the real emotional stress and loss of battle. They are constantly defusing bombs while being shot at or stared down by civilians. The events changing them are, from a film-making perspective, well done. Or, in the words of my former math/science teacher: "solid". You get a big feeling of adrenaline and suspense amidst all the gunfire and explosions propelling the entertainment section of the action sequences. Although in pretty much all of the action sequences, they use the f-word as the foundation of EVERY verbal response to EVERY situation that puts them in "deep doo-doo". The film does feel like a "Call of Duty" game sometimes and less of a film as the setting is always the dull, 100 degree sandy ocean of death and despair that Iraq had become due to the war. But then again, that sounds like an interesting place for a story to take shape isn't it? Just...if you think about it. The thinking behind the story is so unique and well planned out that it makes a successful movie for a change. Although I did hear that the writers are being sued because that sounds like a real military story and I think the guy suing them had a nickname in the army that was exactly like the film's title. But anyway, if you aren't an action or war movie person, I don't recommend you watch this. There is obviously a lot of explosions and gunfire and foreign(to the U.S.A.) people who look creepy and mysterious and some gross things in it. It won't work for all audiences but it DOES present something 9/10 people can at least remotely relate to. Just imagine "District 9" combined with "Green Zone". You know, that type of "mood". The acting is extremely well-done. ALL performances are fully-believable and strong. You really feel like this is all real. Overall, good acting, good action, yet somewhat has a dull, shooter-video game, out focused feeling. The audience that would rank at the "enjoyable" level may be a little too specific. But, all the same, you want an epic war movie? You got it.

Starring: Jeremy Renner Director: Katheryn Bigelow
Anthony Mackie
Brian Geraghty
Ralph Fiennes
Guy Pearce

Did You Hear About the Morgans?

OUR FRIENDS HUGH GRANT AND SARAH JESSICA PARKER FROM THE BIG APPLE TAKE A TRIP TO THE WILD. My Rating: *** - Decent


I guess Marc Lawrence has heard about the Morgans because he has brought something that was actually somewhat funny to the table. But that seems kind of easy when you have a funny story. The plot is about a couple, Meryl(Parker) and Paul(Grant) Morgan, who's marriage is quickly dissolving. One day, they are taking a walk after dinner and witness a murder. What does a criminal do to witnesses? He takes them out right? So they become "endangered" so to speak and the criminal starts hunting them. The officials of the big Apple decide that the only way the couple will survive is if they enter the witness relocation program. The program takes people who witness crimes to remote places and shuts off all contact from the outside world and hides them until they catch the criminal. So, they send the couple to Wyoming. Both of them own successful companies and are used to the city. Now, they are in a very rural place and must cope with no cell phone, no computer, nothin'. Just laying low and staying in the same house may actually be the hardest things they've done all year! So with this goofy plot line, Lawrence has fun as he is able to go in depth to the relationship of the two and clearly show you how their marriage is holding and how the challenges of Wyoming change them. He "gives off the right vibe" simply put. They end up staying with Meryl's distant cousin which is pretty convenient. As the tiny, one story house actually contains many surprises for the Morgans. Whether it's on the wall, under the bed, in the couch, in the refrigerator, or even outside, it will keep you laughing. But, sometimes you get the feeling that it's a little...draggy per say. Like the adventure seems unending even though it's within a running time of 103 minutes. I also think it could have been a little bit more serious. The plot line is very good, but goofy. I mean, the writers had a chance for some really deep stuff here that could have made it better. I understand that it's a comedy and it works kind of well that way. But, one thing I know is that all great comedies have a hint of seriousness in them. The acting is good. The film was cast perfectly and they all did well. There isn't much bad I can say about it. So, I would say that there really isn't a targeted audience. Although there is a PG-13 rating, I would say anyone 10 or older would really be able to enjoy it. Of course a toddler would watch it but I don't think they would really care. But I think their goal was to hit everybody. So overall, funny plot, good acting, funny scenes, but the rest seems to plain. It's not that it's not enjoyable, but when someone isn't having marriage problems, going to a rode, or getting sprayed in the eyes with "Bear Away Spray", it seems a little like dead space. That's the main thing that kind of killed it. It's all plain. They need that extra something that makes the movie special. Movies aren't just people acting out stories for your entertainment. That's not enough. So some people tried computers, not enough. What makes a movie special isn't something that you can make with effects or with your hands. But your creation and imagination and wisdom is what propels these stories. You can't just bring any old good movie just like the other thousands of them. You don't even bring a GOOD movie. But it's when you bring something MORE that makes it special. That one extra special ingredient only you know about. So my question for the film is, "did you hear about the special ingredient?".

Starring: Hugh Grant Director: Marc Lawrence

Sarah Jessica Parker

The Spy Next Door

JACKIE CHAN BRINGS US MORE OF HIS MAD SKILLZ! My Rating: ***1/2 - Good

Jackie Chan has given us yet another entertaining film. Although his latest addition seems kind of like a ripoff of "The Pacifier" (2005) with Vin Diesel. But, either way I think they both brought something special for the whole family. This one brings JACKIE CHAN for Pete's sake! I mean, what more can you ask for in a film like this?! The plot is about a top-notch secret agent (Jackie Chan of course) named Bob Ho who has been an agent for a while and has finally found a life he can settle down in and he wants to retire. He's met a girl named Jilian who has three kids. She really loves him but the KIDS however, well, hate him. One day her dad is hospitalized and he offers to watch her kids while she's gone. Along the way, he must fight off Russian (simply put) "evildoers" who have invented a chemical that literally EATS oil. Basically they want to use it to sabotage the world's oil reserves and get rich. On top of that...he has to bond with the kids. So, while watching recent films, I learned a very important lesson(which, I should always keep doing as a movie critic somewhat in training). You have to keep your opinions about the films

but you can't really say you didn't like it because it wasn't something from a certain genre. You have to consider what the movie was SUPPOSED to be in the first place. I mean, you can't walk into a Jackie Chan movie expecting it to scare your pants off. He does mostly "LIGHT" movies. You can't walk into a horror film saying it wasn't good because it wasn't funny! Just like I can't say this film sucked because it wasn't serious or morally filled. Because it was meant to be a simple, kiddy, entertaining family movie. Not "The Dark Knight: No, I mean the Jackie Chan Version". And, for it's target genre and audience, it works well. I brings in some classic Jackie Chan action scenes that we all know and love. It combines slapstick comedy and physical accidents that still seem like kung-fu, just maybe a more proper name would be "funny-fu". The villains are all Russian people who aren't that smart which, is kind of an insult to their intelligence. At least "Iron Man 2" had a SMART Russian villain. I hope Russia is not offended by the way they behave in the film. The leaders consist of a trigger-happy moron, a lady who doesn't really dress in fighting clothes(as if she expects a day at the office), and a guy who is obsessed with money and doesn't really give a good performance. But, then again, you want to keep it simple for the targeted younger audience. The acting is very "uneven" so to speak. Some of the acting is really fake (the bullies at the kids's school), some of it is average(Jilian and government agents at the headquarters), some of it is good (the kids), and Jackie Chan gives by far the best performance in the film. But that's not surprising. You know, Jackie Chan is very good at what he does. He does very well in the fight scenes for every movie he does and he does his OWN stunts! He's 56 years old! If i was an actor at that age (no offense to Jackie Chan because he's not old I'm just saying that that's a little past the best age for stunts) If I was an actor at that age doing those stunts, I would have been like "I'm getting to old for this crap!" He had to go through many injuries for this stuff. But, he still does great and it's probably the best crap known to man. He gets a lot of buzz for this and he's definitely earned it. He's not a full-of-himself actor. He used to make 80 cents a DAY. He has worked his way up over a very long period of time. He adds that talent to this film. Something the whole family could watch. Although it could have been a little more realistic and wee-bit more serious. Sometimes things go on and off in the link of an eye. There's no explaining or sense of it changing gradually. Bob and Jilian are kind of confusing at points. But in the end, it closes with just your classic entertaining Jackie Chan battle. His fight sequences are very well choreographed but are funny and you still get the feeling that leaves you going "Aaahhhh, that never gets old." And it keeps it cool without the blood and guts of "Ninja Assassin". It's a good family movie, but make sure your kids don't watch the out takes at the end where it turns from kid friendly to the constant dropping of the f-bomb. Overall, it has diverse acting but Jackie Chan is good as always, good action sequences, and a light and entertaining family movie with a heart. If you have a family with little kids looking for a good family movie, this one is right next door.

Starring: Jackie Chan Director: Brian Levant

George Lopez

Billy Ray Cyrus

Disney Nature: Oceans

SAY HELLO TO OUR LITTLE FRINDS! My Rating: ***1/2 - Good

Narrated by Pierce Brosnan, "Oceans" is a visually stunning documentary of a world existing inside of a liquid covering 3/4 of planet Earth. You see it not as some boring documentary (discovery channel *cough cough*)where you watch animals go through everyday life. But it seems as if it is a collection of stories. Stories that have characters, events, and one big blue setting. The main factor contributing to this feeling is the beautiful soundtrack that fits the mood of whatever situation the creature that is being talked about is in. If the creature was just born, it's all nice and peaceful music. But once you see a hungry shark looking for some fish, "Jaws" comes back to you. Either the camera men got the spectacular footage of this film by coincidence or they just knew where to look because the cinematography is so amazing that it seems like you are watching a film entirely made of special affects but then you stare in awe as you remind yourself that it's all REAL. One thing about the film is that, if you have seen enough movies, the music and events and many other things remind you of other films. When I saw a whale swimming half above the water with its fins popping in and out of the surface of the water, it reminded me of the ending sequence to "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" where the "Kraken" comes and devours the ship with its tentacles flailing everywhere. Also, there was music that I either recognized or sounded similar to other movies to me. I think there was one part where the music sounded almost "congruent" so to speak(yes I know that is a math term) as the music of a battle sequence in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". With all of this great music, the movie uses it to give you the full feel of the ocean. Both it's danger and it's beauty. However, it IS a documentary and I am not a real documentary person but I must give the film credit. But, it still may be just a wee bit boring at some points, and you hear the same voice over and over and over and over throughout the whole film but that wasn't a HUGE problem. Unfortunately, I did have a big yawn towards the end but that also was not a HUGE problem. So overall, there was great narration almost as if Morgan Freeman was narrating it, spectacular visuals, great music, and, simply put, the best documentary I have ever seen(although I must admit I have not seen very many documentaries). It doesn't give you the satisfaction of any regular yet excellent movie but maybe that's because it's not really a movie, it's more like an experience that takes you through a world that exists right under you boat and shows the real complexity and beauty of the creatures who's homes we are destroying with our trash. And you can't help but wonder how the existence of all these complex creatures was possible. But, there is no doubt that it's a beautiful film that has a message that's both green And blue.

Starring: Pierce Brosnan Directors: Jaques Perrin
(many of the animals of the ocean) Lancelot Perrin

The Soloist

JAMIE FOXX ISN'T FLYIN' SOLO NO MO. My Rating: *** - Decent

Jamie Foxx(upper left) was not an actor who crossed my mind very much. But after watching "The Soloist", you get a glimpse of his talent. As for Robert Downey Jr.(upper right), if you haven't heard of him, this film and definitely "Iron Man" are good places to start. After watching this film, I looked up some info on the true story behind this film and found a video that was a news cast that helps you compare the movie and the amazing true story. The plot is about a homeless man named Nathaniel Anthony Ayers Jr.(Jamie Foxx) who is an extremely talented musician who at one point went to the Julliard music school and had a great career ahead of him until it was all destroyed by the mental illness "Paranoid Schizophrenia" and he soon returned home and then ran away to be out on the streets. On the other end of the line, there is a journalist named Steve Lopez(Robert Downey Jr.) who is on an endless journey to find a decent story as something to write about for his column in the newspaper. One day he meets Mr. Ayers and he finds his situation and story very interesting and soon begins to write articles about him. But just "doing his job" quickly turns into him trying to help him out which quickly turns into One of Mr. Lopez's first meaningful friendships. The actors who would portray these complex characters were well chosen. Jamie Foxx leads you to believe he really is mentally ill when he sometimes talks in fast chatter about random things...mainly music since is also obsessed with Beethoven. Mr. Downey Jr. also does an excellent job. He seems to be your average everyday journalist. So the acting is obviously no issue. The movie does feel a little boring at times though and your attention may start to drift away but it manages to pull you back just in the nick of time before you stop paying attention. But it still is mostly interesting. At 123 minutes, it does feel slow but in the end you are happy to have heard this remarkable story. With one sharp turn to the next, you see homeless people (who were actually hired to play themselves in this movie) in dark areas and shelters who are part of riots and then you see Nathaniel playing his exquisite violin music everywhere from outside to inside, homeless shelters to the outside world, and from hollow street tunnels all the way to Walt Disney concert hall which seems like Mr. Ayers's church. Overall, great acting, story, and actors but is a little boring and uncomfortable in some parts but ultimately is a story worth telling.

Starring: Robert Downey Jr. Director: Joe Wright
Jamie Foxx
Catherine Keener

Clash of the Titans

THE CLASH BEGINS! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! My Rating: ***1/2 - Good

The remake of 1981's "Clash of the Titans" has finally arrived. With great special affects as its strongest point, you can obviously tell that it could have been done better. The plot is set in ancient Greek Mythology and a boy named Perseus was found as a baby adrift at sea inside a coffin with his mother. The fisherman who found him raised him along with his wife. It was during a time when mortals were beginning to question the Greek gods and a war is started. One day, Perseus's whole family is killed by Hades for no real reason other than the fact that he was angry. So, Perseus is rescued by soldiers and is taken to the city of Argos where Hades crashes a party and threatens to release the Kraken, a giant sea creature made by Hades's own flesh that was once used to kill the Titans long ago unless they sacrifice Andromeda, princess of Argos. So, Perseus finds out he is the son of Zeus and he and some soldiers from Argos set out on a quest to find the Fates who are supposed to be able to see the future and figure out how to defeat the Kraken before it's too late. This journey has the perfect set-up for some great special affects. Fortunately, it was used perfectly. The special affects were just astounding and I can only imagine how good it is in 3-D. You get to see many things from Greek mythology that are purely made of special affects and it is just pure amazing. The acting in this movie is also good. Sam Worthington(Perseus) as I can already tell is on his way to being a big-time actor. He almost did as good a job in this film as he did with his starring role in "Avatar". The movie is a little slow sometimes though and is just not very interesting. And it's weird because during his quest he has all of these battles that he struggles to win but then towards the end, he seems to take out creatures ten times the size of ones earlier in the film with barely a struggle. But overall, the acting is good, the story is good, the special affects are amazing but sometimes the movie loses it's pace a little and how much you like it is somewhat effected by whether or not you like fantasy/action movies. But I guess I have more of a tolerance for movies like this than most people.

Starring: Sam Worthington Director: Louis Leterrier
Gemma Arterton
Liam Neeson
Ralph Fiennes
Danny Houston
Alexa Davalos

G.I.JOE: The Rise of Cobra

MISSION IS AGO FOR HASBRO!

My Rating: *** - Decent



2009 has been a big year for the Hasbro toy company with two big-time movie adaptations of their most famous toy franchises including this one and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". This one has made a movie that pretty much is exactly what you would expect for a film that is based off of toys and comic books. The writers had a lot of creative options for this since there is no specific story about G.I.JOE and they came up with something that would fit the style of the franchise perfectly. The plot is a Scottish terrorist invents a new weapon called a Nanomite warhead that contains tiny organisms called nanomites that eat everything in their path until stopped by what they call a kill switch and g.i.joe must stop them before they reach their goal of threatening everyone with it in order to gain control of the world-that sounds like your classic cartoon/comic book story. The movie does exactly what the new "Star Trek" movie did...go back to the beginning. Two main characters from the cartoon are just entering the organization in this movie. Acting in this movie is not great but definitely above average and the action, when it goes on for about 15 minutes straight, can get a little tiresome but for the most part is good and the non-action parts are sometimes more interesting than the action itself.There are 2 parts where it gets a little graphic, and you will know them when you see them. But the movie does keep a sense of taking a break from the fighting and go deep which is sometimes hard for big action movies like this to do.

Starring: Channing Tatum Director: Stephen Sommers
Marlon Wayans
Ray Park
Byung Hun Lee
Adawele-Akinnyouae-Adbaje
Sienna Miller
Joseph-Gordon-Levitt
Christopher Eccleston
Dennis Quaid

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

OH YEAH! THE DECEPTICONS ARE COMING, THE DECEPTICONS ARE COMING! My Rating: ***1/2 - Good

Action man Micheal Bay (the director of "Bad Boys" and "Transformers") has given us not just a sequel to his truly good film "Transformers" (2007), but has also given us a story of courage and well, basically an all out explosion fest. The movie picks up two years after the first one and Sam is going to college...which is where most of the film's weak parts are. Any or almost any other part than that is good. The giant alien robots that we all know and(some of us) love have been working with a special military team called "N.E.S.T." and have been hunting down any remaining decepticons(bad guy transformers) that are left on our planet. But, an ancient decepticon called "the fallen", wants to destroy the sun so he can harness it's power to do what the decepticons failed to do in the first one-conquer the galaxy. One thing that this film did better than almost any other movie I've ever seen was it's action scenes. Unless you watch this movie a thousand times, you cannot be bored watching these giant robots go head-to-head. The acting in this movie for some characters was a little questionable but most of the actors did terrific jobs. Overall, the movie is good and very entertaining and occasionally can go pretty deep but has a tendency to fall apart during just a few scenes that don't have two or more giant robots slugging it out to save (or destroy) us.

Starring: Shia Lebouf

Megan Fox

Josh Duhamel

Tyrese Gibson

John Tuturro