Sherlock Holmes

DOWNEY PARTNERS WITH LAW...LITERALLY! My Rating: *** - Decent

Director Guy Ritchie has told the story of the famous detective from the 1800's with his new film "Sherlock Holmes". The plot is a made up case where a man seems to be practicing magic and killing people in a mysterious pattern and after he is finally caught and hanged, he rises from the grave and continues his rampage. He is instantly feared by the people as a sorcerer and who better to be assigned to this case than Sherlock Holmes and his partner in anti-crime, John Watson. You don't find out what the killer's "powers" really are until the end of the movie. The film has a very mysterious beginning with the perfect introduction to the hero of the story which causes the audience's attention to be attracted to the movie like a magnet. And it at least has a good try to keep that kind of thing going throughout the movie. The movie can feel a little boring at times and a little slow but is somewhat made up for with great costumes and a very realistic 19th century setting. The best thing in this movie is the acting. The only word I can use to describe this movie's acting is "amazing". The actors changed their accents and made it very realistic. That is not easy to do in a setting that is a lot different from today and that's the position where your acting is exposed as merely acting and where it's hardest to make it seem as if they really are in whatever situation they're in. So overall, there was great acting and costumes and settings but was boring and tedious at certain points. They did, however, have the right ingredients. Now for the upcoming 2011 sequel, all they need to do is make something with it.

Starring: Robert Downey Jr. Director: Guy Ritchie
Jude Law
Rachel Mcadams
Mark Strong

Ninja Assassin

WHAT HAPPENED TO JACKIE CHAN STYLE VIOLENCE? WHERE DID THAT GO? OH, THAT'S RIGHT! PEOPLE REPLACED IT WITH BLOOD AND GUTS. My Rating: * - Terrible

James McTeigue's new gory film "Ninja Assassin" has brought a whole new meaning to graphic movies. The ridiculously gory scenes in this movie are what bogs it down the most. Either way, they stink because when they look real, they are disgusting. And when they look fake, it makes you, well, not like the movie as much. The plot is about this secret clan of ninja that kidnap orphans and brutally train them as assassins from as early as the age of ten and then which ever government will pay them 100 pounds of gold, they will sell assassination "services" to them. There is so much blood in this movie that there seems to be no point to the story at all and the blood when shown long enough is easily classified as a"1940's horror film scam". And that unfortunately turn out to be what 90% of the movie is.But I guess it's better that it looks fake than real because if it looked real, it would just gross you out. The acting in this movie is not bad but not really great so I guess it's just "good not great". I still have to give the special affects team props for being able to put all of that gore together without throwing up and quitting. There are so many things that could have made this film better. The #1 thing would be to make it less gory. They could also concentrate more on how the action sequences play out in stead of focusing on making it seem like they are gathering red paint so they can pull a prank and paint the white house red. So overall, the movie had an okay plot, good acting, and (when they weren't gross) kind of good action sequences but they were not used in the movie right and it ultimately leads to the film's gory demise.

Starring: Rain Director: Jason Mcteigue
Naomi Harris
Ben Miles

Alice in Wonderland

C'MON MR. BURTON! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT! My Rating: * - Terrible

Tim Burton seems to have lost his movie-making touch with his new film "Alice in Wonderland". The previews (if you thought even those were good) don't even describe the movie in the least bit because it's a lot worse. Mr. Burton obviously knew what he was doing with the special affects and how he wanted the actors to act but the rest is completely thumbs down. The movie has somewhat of a slow beginning yet it's not bad but from the time she arrives in Wonderland it quickly gets worse, and worse, and, well, a lot worse. Some things in the movie are just plain Gothic and gross. If parents take their kids to this movie and they are surprised that this "innocent" little film has heads floating in a moat or eye balls being stabbed out, I wouldn't be surprised that they were surprised. That makes you just not want to keep watching film. They have almost no comedy in this but when they do, it's pointless. Someone warming their feet on a pig belly isn't even that funny and the funniest thing in the film is a smoking caterpillar and he doesn't even make jokes. The acting is great and you can't expect much less from big stars like Johnny Deep(The Mad Hatter) and Anne Hathaway(The White Queen) but the movie itself just doesn't even pass for "Okay". The biggest mistake made is trying to have the actors and special affects run the entire thing but one thing you can learn by watching this movie is, sadly, that that's not enough to power the engine. The plot has been done in a cartoon movie also by Disney that is this same thing so if you've seen it, you know it's about a girl named Alice who falls down a hole and ends up in a magical place called Wonderland where strange creatures live and the land has been taken over by a queen who is oddly obsessed with the color red and has this gigantic head which is ironic because she (as portrayed in the film) is also obsessed with decapitation. Another bad thing is that even though it's a fantasy movie, it still lacks logic that most fantasy movies and even books keep. Like for instance, say this was Narnia and you fell down a hole that stretched equal to a thousand stories from ground level to the bottom, wouldn't you die if not at least be seriously injured? Well, in this, Alice doesn't even get a scratch but instead she hits the ground and just gets back up like nothing happened. Yet somehow later in the film she is able to get a nasty cut after being scratched by a giant beast. The film also can be very graphic and shouldn't even pass as a kid's film and will leave you surprised at Disney but not so much at Tim Burton with this very (as you probably have guessed by the previews) weird movie. Overall, the movie has good acting and great special affects that could even compete with "Avatar" but everything else is shockingly bad and the movie isn't much of a wonderland itself.

Starring: Mia Wasikowska Director: Linda Woolverton
Johnny Depp
Anne Hathaway
Crispin Glover
Matt Lucas

The Blind Side

WHO KNEW FOOTBALL WAS SO UPLIFTING?! My Rating: **** - Great

Sandra Bullock(above,left), who i can now say is one of the best actresses of all time, has made( along with all of the other actors as well) a groundbreaking, realistic, believable, jaw-dropping performance with her new role in the new film "The Blind Side". Most of those words, other than maybe ground breaking and jaw-dropping, are ones i would use to describe the film itself. With it's great story and performances, that is definitely one way to describe it.The movie tells the story of Micheal Oher and how he went from just being some quiet 17-year-old out on the street with nowhere to go to being a star football player. This very touching and true story shows just how nice people can really be when a very rich mother(Sandra Bullock) sees him out in the rain on his way to the school gym to have a place to sleep for the night and she let's him stay at her house with her family and he eventually goes into football. The problem with this movie is that sometimes it's just not very enjoyable to watch and it has almost an extremely slow beginning. Most of the time it is enjoyable to watch but where it really shines is its deep scenes and important life lessons. There are some parts that will make you burst out laughing and some parts that may startle you but you somehow still feel safe because you know the main character is so big and nothing will take him down. Acting in the film as you may have already guessed is better than any other movie I've ever seen. Sandra Bullock's performance stands out as she is able to change her accent to combination of kind of a "yeeeaaah daawgy" country one and her natural one. This film is almost what I'd call great but it could have been done a little better but it's still good(not because it's fun to watch but because it teaches you some very important things). However, there are very rare occasions where i would say that a movie should be required viewing. And this is one of them.

Starring: Quintin Aaron Director: John Lee Hancock

Sandra Bullock

Tim Mcgraw

Lily Collins

Jae Head

The Pink Panther 2

THIS FILM IS JUST AS PRICELESS AS THE DIAMOND ATTACHED TO THE STORY! My Rating: ****- Great

2006's "The Pink Panther" was undoubtedly a hilarious family movie. Normally they have series of movies where the first one is good but the sequel is just plain terrible. Well, (just like "Spider-Man 2") The sequel in this series triumphs over its predecessor in almost every way. The plot has a villain called "The Tornado" who is stealing many valuable items from museums. And of course, he goes after the Pink Panther. So an international "dream team" is assembled and their mission is to track down the Tornado and the stolen items. So from there on you are set on an adventure that will give you some questionable acting but what's funny about the questionable acting is that in a weird way it seems to make the movie even funnier but not not because of the fact that the acting is questionable but because the questionable acting may only be questionable for that certain actor and that makes it seem more real in a sense and makes it more entertaining to see those actors act so differently than they normally do which makes the movie better? Or are you too confused to answer that question? What else is good is that the movie succeeds at its actual purpose...to be funny. Which many movies believe it or not fail to do. There are many funny parts in this movie that can't help but make you smile and laugh. This film does however, fail to go deep because this really is just a predictable mystery to with quite a few laughs but there really is no real lesson or deeper piece to this movie. But it miraculously ends up powering its engine with mystery, funny characters and scenes, and the incredible fact that in it's own little way, it's funny and entertaining to watch and you can't help but want to watch it over and over and over again. And, just like the "Tornado" villain, this movie will commit a theft of your laughs, popping them out of you constantly in great quantities in this funny, charming, well-done sequel.

Starring: Steve Martin Director: Harold Zwart
Jean Reno
Alfred Molina
Emily Mortimer
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan
Andy Garcia
Lily Tomlin
John Cleese

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

ANOTHER SUPERHERO FLICK FROM JACKMAN. My Rating: *** - Decent

The origin of one of Marvel's most famous super "Heroes" is finally explained in this epic comic book adventure that will not(for the most part) fail to entertain you. The plot is obviously well, wolverine's origin and it tells the story with characters like sabertooth, deadpool(above), gambit, and many other comic book characters with unique personalities. The main problem with this movie is that sometimes it's not very interesting and you feel a little bored watching it but most of the time it's fine. There is no lack of action in this movie and it's almost guaranteed you will be entertained when you see bullets deflected and chopped in half while in mid-air with swords, adamantium claws slicing through helicopter blades after the hero jumps off of a motorcycle that was blown up with a missile, Wolverine fighting some very deformed person, and well, you get the point. But the acting at certain points can be a bit questionable and sometimes at rare points the movie itself is just plain bad. Hugh Jackman( Wolverine) did a good job as always by turning his Australian accent into a big, bad, tough-guy American accent. So overall, the movie is good but could have been done a whole lot better and you will like the action sequences but watch out because at certain points, the movie may stick three metal claws right into your attention.

Starring: Hugh Jackman Director: Gavin Hood
Liev Schreiber
WILL.I.AM
Ryan Reynolds

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

YEAH OKAY MR. PATTINSON AND MR LAUNTER, WE GET IT, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF! NOW CAN WE PLEASE WATCH SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU ADVERTISING?! My Rating: **1/2 - Average



The sequel to the mega hit "Twilight" is now here and fans piled up to see it in theaters and everyone was like "OMG! I can't wait to see this movie blah blah blah." It's not as good as you would think and it doesn't manage to keep itself together at certain points so simmer down a little bit people. The main problem with this movie is that it's only aimed towards a certain audience which was a main trait from it's predecessor. Pre-teen and teenage girls will have a wonderful time watching this movie but mainly because they would like to gaze at young male actors the whole time. It again picks up where the first one left off and goes deeper into Jacob's(Taylor Launtner) story. The odd topic of some girl falling in love with a vampire has wowed fans of the series and this time around, it may ONLY be the fans. The acting in this movie is very believable and realistic which helps you understand what's happening a little better and the special affects (like the werewolf above) were amazing and the film does manage to throw in a few LOL's but other than that, it's just an oddball tale that you would think is just trying to earn money from teenage girls because it, just like the first one, throws in Robert Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Launtner, and of course more Robert Pattinson which, for everyone else, will make you feel like the movie itself is sucking your blood.
So overall, instead of being very much like the previous "Twilight" it manages to do an odd thing that most movies don't because it may destroy your interest but it still in it's own little way manages to keep your attention.

Starring: Robert Pattinson Director: Chris Weitz
Kristen Stewart
Taylor Launter
Billy Burke
Bryce Dallas Howard
Dakota Fanning

Old Dogs

OLD DOGS AREN'T LEARNING ANY TRICKS. My Rating: *1/2 - Poor


Disney's "Old Dogs" is a complete disappointment from what i was expecting from the previews. Sometimes there are some hilarious scenes but it feels as if it passes by too fast and jumps right into it without telling you much. Some of the "funny" ideas and scenes that made it to the movie really shouldn't have. The plot is about 2 brothers who have been life-long friends and business partners when one of them (Robin Williams) finds out his old girlfriend has kids. Now he must take on the responsibility of babysitting them for one week while she is in jail for infiltrating some factory polluting a lake with the help of his brother( John Travolta) while at the same time preparing for the biggest moment in their careers. The movie itself is definitely a wild ride that takes you through a weird maze of Robin Williams and John Travolta trying to babysit. Most of the movie is stupid with a few big laughs but the rest just isn't the way it should. If you can get enough joy from someone singing for dear life to a gorilla, flying a jet pack and then falling, getting hit hard with a golf ball, or penguins jumping two movie stars then this would be good for you. If not, i don't recommend you watch this because aside from the LOL's, this will ultimately teach you that old dogs can't learn new tricks.

Starring: Robin Williams Director: Walt Becker
John Travolta
Seth Green
Kelly Preston
Matt Dillon

Star Trek

I HAVE DETECTED A STRANGE TRANSMISSION TO THE ENTERPRISE.............OH NEVER MIND, THAT'S MY SUPER-AWESOME SCI-FI NETFLIX DVD. My Rating: **** - Great


The Star Trek saga is back with a new movie that really shows just how good sci-fi movies can be. The film goes back to the origin of James T. Kirk, the main character from the old T.V. series, and how he became captain of the enterprise, a HUGE spaceship. Other characters from the old series such as Spock, Sulu, Ahura(above), Scotty, MCcoy, Checkov, and other characters are in here too. The movie may leave you with uncertain expectations, but you see right from the get-go that it's flat-out good with it's powerful beginning , and then from there it thrusts you into a well-told story of these classic characters and their struggle to well, beat the bad-guy, so to speak. Costumes, make-up, special effects, and CGI and everything fake in this movie that tried to make it seem real did fantastic jobs and the actors were (just like in "Avatar") able to make everything out of nothing and follow up those awesome special effects with 10/10 acting. You may get a little bored with it at some parts but it is at least mostly made up for.The nerdy, boring, and cheesy image that a lot of people have about these kinds of movies is totally deformed by this great story that even those people with like.The movie may be a little long and a little nerdy but until you see this movie, you may never understand sci-fi's true colors.

Starring: Chris Pine Director: J.J. Abrams
Zoe Saldana
Zachary Quinto
Buce Greenwood
John Cho
Simon Pegg

2012

THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN!...SO GRAB SOME POPCORN! My Rating: **1/2 - Average


This movie has earned the rightful title of "The Mother of all Disaster Flicks". The Mayans predicted the end of the world to be on December 21,2012 and that's where this movie takes off. Of course, this would have made a cool documentary but director Roland Emmerich decided to single in on one family and their experiences during the end of the world. In real life, scientists have found no threats to the Earth in 2012...so you can breathe while reading this. The movie does have some funny parts at the most appropriate times to have funny parts and the movie manages to keep your attention 95% of the time. The best thing in this movie is it's disaster sequences. Some of the most amazing special effects I've ever seen were in this movie and you can't help but stare in awe at the Earth being deformed by earthquakes,tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions. The parts where it doesn't show these things are good too with occasional really sad parts but sometimes just doesn't have very interesting dialogue. The story can sometimes be a little boring but acting for the most part is not an issue in this movie and John Cusack(above) did a great job. Overall the movie is in fact very flawed but still may or may not be classified as "good" and has a very creative ending.

Starring: John Cusack Director: Roland Emmerich
Amanda Peet
Oliver Patt
Danny Glover

G.I.JOE: The Rise of Cobra

MISSION IS AGO FOR HASBRO!

My Rating: *** - Decent



2009 has been a big year for the Hasbro toy company with two big-time movie adaptations of their most famous toy franchises including this one and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". This one has made a movie that pretty much is exactly what you would expect for a film that is based off of toys and comic books. The writers had a lot of creative options for this since there is no specific story about G.I.JOE and they came up with something that would fit the style of the franchise perfectly. The plot is a Scottish terrorist invents a new weapon called a Nanomite warhead that contains tiny organisms called nanomites that eat everything in their path until stopped by what they call a kill switch and g.i.joe must stop them before they reach their goal of threatening everyone with it in order to gain control of the world-that sounds like your classic cartoon/comic book story. The movie does exactly what the new "Star Trek" movie did...go back to the beginning. Two main characters from the cartoon are just entering the organization in this movie. Acting in this movie is not great but definitely above average and the action, when it goes on for about 15 minutes straight, can get a little tiresome but for the most part is good and the non-action parts are sometimes more interesting than the action itself.There are 2 parts where it gets a little graphic, and you will know them when you see them. But the movie does keep a sense of taking a break from the fighting and go deep which is sometimes hard for big action movies like this to do.

Starring: Channing Tatum Director: Stephen Sommers
Marlon Wayans
Ray Park
Byung Hun Lee
Adawele-Akinnyouae-Adbaje
Sienna Miller
Joseph-Gordon-Levitt
Christopher Eccleston
Dennis Quaid

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

OH YEAH! THE DECEPTICONS ARE COMING, THE DECEPTICONS ARE COMING! My Rating: ***1/2 - Good

Action man Micheal Bay (the director of "Bad Boys" and "Transformers") has given us not just a sequel to his truly good film "Transformers" (2007), but has also given us a story of courage and well, basically an all out explosion fest. The movie picks up two years after the first one and Sam is going to college...which is where most of the film's weak parts are. Any or almost any other part than that is good. The giant alien robots that we all know and(some of us) love have been working with a special military team called "N.E.S.T." and have been hunting down any remaining decepticons(bad guy transformers) that are left on our planet. But, an ancient decepticon called "the fallen", wants to destroy the sun so he can harness it's power to do what the decepticons failed to do in the first one-conquer the galaxy. One thing that this film did better than almost any other movie I've ever seen was it's action scenes. Unless you watch this movie a thousand times, you cannot be bored watching these giant robots go head-to-head. The acting in this movie for some characters was a little questionable but most of the actors did terrific jobs. Overall, the movie is good and very entertaining and occasionally can go pretty deep but has a tendency to fall apart during just a few scenes that don't have two or more giant robots slugging it out to save (or destroy) us.

Starring: Shia Lebouf

Megan Fox

Josh Duhamel

Tyrese Gibson

John Tuturro

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

GREEK MYTHOLOGY TRIUMPHS! EVEN I'M INTERESTED. My Rating: **** - Great

Chris Columbus (also the director of Harry Potter 1 and 2) has made a worthy film adaptation of Rick Riordan's novel. The books were wildly popular but did not get their name known in every part of the world...until now. Walk around any Barnes&Nobles and you will find about 5 people either talking about or purchasing a copy of "The Lightning Thief". I myself read the book a few years ago and i could not put it down. You would think that i would give really tough criticism for not including events or characters from the book.( and if you have read a book you like and then seen the movie adaptation, you know the feeling.) But honestly, there's not much criticism that i could give as far as that goes. The plot is about a young kid named Percy Jackson who is dyslexic and has ADHD. He one day finds out that his father who he never knew is Poesidon, the Greek god of the sea. He later his all of the sudden constantly attacked by mythological monsters andends up at camp half blood where "his kind" go during the summer to escape the dangers of the outside world. Then through certain events that I won't tell you so I don't spoil it, he finds out that Zeus's master lightning bolt has been stolen and his father is the suspected culprit. So he must out who it REALLY is, bring the bolt to Zeus, prove his father's inocennce, and beat the bad guy in the process. So all in all, this is your basic hero's tale. Hero is a loser, but discovers the truth about himself(he is a prophesied Greek mythology hero), he meets his new mentor(Chiron the centaur), he gets a magical weapon(his pen that when clicked, turns into a sword called riptide), sets out on a quest(must find a lightning bolt and return it to it's owner), and then beats the bad guy and finishes his quest(well, I probably shouldn't say the ending). With good action scenes, great acting, top-notch special effects, and generally funny dialogue, this shows you how to make a fantasy movie.The film does cut out a few semi-important characters and events from the movie and changes some things that happened a little bit. But ultimately manages to help you get past that. I felt some dissapointment that certain characters that i was looking forward to seeing in film form were not included and certain events from the book that i was looking forward to seeing in film form were discarded as well. But either way, it still makes for a satisfying film.

Starring: Logan Lerman Director: Christopher Columbus
Brandon T. Jackson
Alexandra Daddario
Pierce Brosnan
Steve Coogan
Kevin Mckidd
Catherine Keener

9

ACKNER MAKES MORE MISTAKES THAN THE TITLE! My Rating: * - Terrible

Director Shane Ackner has made a huge disappointment with his new film "9". The plot is that after humans invent machines meant to fight with the humans, they turn against us and the entire planet is wiped out. So, a scientist makes 9 4-inch tall figurines made of cloth and somehow gives them all the spark of life and they are supposed to defeat the machines. The plot is weird but that's nothing i can't handle. The thing smashing this to pieces is the fact it is a little Gothic and falls apart where most movies triumph-the story and acting and well, basically the parts where no one is fighting robots. The dialogue is little weird and pointless and the characters each have their own personality but some of those personalities provide nothing to the story and some provide a lot which can leave you confused at times. There are only two things i would give this movie decent credit for- the unique idea for the plot which is in fact unique and original but just wasn't done right and the visually stunning battle scenes that don't fail to entertain you at all which is where most action movies fall apart. Overall, the movie does not deliver on what you would hope to find in a movie and ends with 90% bitter and 10% nice ending which will leave you saying "WHAT?! that's weird!". But hey,(no offense-this is probably just his style) anything produced by Tim Burton is almost guaranteed to be a little weird.

Starring: Eligah Wood Director: Shane Ackner

Jennifer Conelley

Martin Landau

John C. Reily

Crispin Glover

Christopher Plummer

Avatar

CAMERON MAKES "BLUE" THE NEW "AWESOME"


My Rating: ***** - Classic

"Avatar" may leave you confused and not knowing what to expect at first glance of the commercials, but it sure blows your mind once you see it. James Cameron, who has had many previous box-office hits such as "Titanic" and "Terminator 2: Judgement Day", has probably outdone them all and silenced everyone who said the movie would suck by delivering one of the best movies of all time. The movie takes place in the year 2154 and man has discovered a new planet called Pandora. The planet is filled with life and contains a mineral that could solve the energy crisis on Earth with the clever name "unobtainium". Of course, we,the humans, are there trying to take it with us back to earth but the humanoid population of blue-skinned and ten-foot-tall aliens(who instead of green are blue and instead of the "take me to your leader earthlings" image we have of aliens, they resemble native American Indians and you don't really think about the fact that they are aliens) called the Na'vi have a village on top of the richest deposit and we want them to relocate. So in order to breathe in the toxic atmosphere, we must wear gas masks or the more unique solution- being wired up to a machine where you are able to control a synthetically-grown Na'vi body with your thoughts. It feels like it's that person but they are actually in a machine. The plot is unique but the main criticism of it was that the plot was used. I have never seen anything like this but if you think about it, the plot is used. In terms of movies, no...but in terms of reality, absolutely. This very much resembles the war on terror in Iraq. Endless strife just so we can power our cars(assuming that the war is over oil). The humans on the brink of war with the Na'vi over unobtainium. But I don't think that this movie should be viewed as an anti-American protest and just watch it for what it really is: a MOVIE. This film (despite the bullets and bad words) is a kid's film in a way but the reason an adult may not want to see it is because it may not be realistic compared to this day and age but it is in fact a mere representation of reality that even adults (who again, don't view it as a political message)with love. The length can be tough when watching this all the way through but it is completely made up for."Avatar" uses this story to make a perfect dish with the ingredients action,romance,sadness,and comedy in all of the right ways.

Starring: Sam Worthington Director: James Cameron
Zoe Saldana
Sigourney Weaver
Stephen Lang
Michelle Rodriguez
Joel Moore
Giovanni Ribisi

Movie reviews

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